Hi Reader,
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In my workshops with coaches and parents, one of the topics that comes up most often is how to support athletes with a really strong inner critic. My advice is similar to what I say when athletes are having an emotional breakdown (or “crashing out,” as kids say these days).
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You've watched it happen. Your athlete makes a mistake, misses a shot, loses a race, botches the dismount. Their shoulders drop. They mutter something under their breath. "I'm so stupid." "I suck at this."
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And you, being the supportive coach or parent you are, jump in with reassurance. "No, you're great!" "That was just one mistake!" "You're being too hard on yourself!"
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Though it’s counterintuitive, we don’t actually want to jump in to provide reassurance that they’re doing great. If you’ve tried this, you’ve also likely realized it doesn't land. They don't believe you. And research in sport psychology tells us why: when an athlete is stuck in harsh self-criticism, reassurance often bounces right off.
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​What to Say Next (When Your Athlete Gets Self-Critical)
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​When your athlete says "I'm terrible," your job isn't to convince them otherwise. (They won't believe you anyway.) Your job is to teach them a different relationship with their inner critic.
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Here's what that looks like in practice:
👉🏻Stop debating their worth.
👉🏻Teach them to recognize the voice as just a voice.
👉🏻Model self-compassion yourself.
👉🏻Focus on process instead of outcomes.
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Sometimes, an athlete's self-criticism goes beyond normal performance anxiety and becomes a mental health concern. If you notice persistent negative self-talk, withdrawal from teammates, changes in mood or behavior, or comments about feeling hopeless, it may be time to connect them with a mental health professional who specializes in working with athletes. We can help with this at Skadi, or you can reach out to any mental health professional your athlete already knows and trusts.

We dive deeper into each of these strategies in this week's blog. Read the full article here.​

🎙️ This week on the Feisty Women's Performance Podcast…
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​I squealed when this podcast guest booked with us because I’m such a big fan of her book (and her work in general). This week, Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani helps us unpack how under‑fueling can masquerade as peak performance, and why the “athlete’s heart” may actually be a starving heart. If you know anyone with disordered eating patterns that lead to under-fueling or restriction, this will be an important listen.
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​🎧Listen now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.​
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​Your athlete's harsh inner voice isn't something you can cheerfully override. But you can teach them to work with it differently. And that skill will serve them far beyond sport.
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Til next time,
Dr. A

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