Hi Reader,
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You know that moment when someone says, “Just be more confident!” and you want to roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck?

Yeah, me too.
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If you’re a female athlete, you’ve probably heard this advice more times than you can count. And while it’s well-meaning, it’s also wildly unhelpful.
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Here's why: Confidence for women in sports comes with a catch.
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Be confident, but not too confident.
Be competitive, but don’t be aggressive.
Be a leader, but don’t be bossy.
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It’s like walking a tightrope. And it’s exhausting.
Annnnnnd it’s not your fault.
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This double standard is baked into the culture of sports—and society. While male athletes are often celebrated for their confidence, women are often labeled as arrogant or cocky for the same behaviors.
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Here's where we stand at Skadi: Confidence is not arrogance.
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​Confidence is internal. It’s the quiet belief in your abilities, built through preparation, hard work, and experience. Arrogance, on the other hand, is external—a mask for insecurity that seeks validation from others.
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The problem isn’t your confidence. It’s the cultural lens through which it’s viewed.
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So, how do you build sustainable confidence without feeling like you have to apologize for it?
Here are three quick tips to get started:
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1️⃣ Anchor Your Confidence in Your Work
​Confidence isn’t about faking it—it’s about earning it and slowly working toward it over time. Reflect on the hours of practice, the sacrifices, and the progress you’ve made. Keep a training log or even a “confidence jar” to track your wins, big and small.
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2️⃣ Redefine Success and Failure
​Perfectionism is a trap. Growth isn’t a straight line—it’s messy, full of setbacks and plateaus. Instead of aiming for flawless, aim for progress. Every stumble is a step forward.
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3️⃣ Practice Self-Compassion
​Your inner critic can be loud, but it doesn’t have to take the driver's seat. Treat yourself like you’d treat a teammate—with kindness and encouragement. Celebrate the small wins, and remind yourself: You’re doing the work, and that’s what matters.
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Confidence isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about owning who you are.

Ready to dive deeper, check out the latest blog post: “The Confidence Paradox: Why ‘Be More Confident’ Is a Trap for Female Athletes.”

Oh, and before I go—don’t miss this week’s episode of the Feisty Women’s Performance Podcast! I mean it. This was one of my FAVORITE episodes to record, and Dr. LaVoi is an absolute legend in the field. She'll help you understand why the confidence issues above aren't a you problem.
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🎙️ 50 Years After Title IX: The Data on Gender Equity’s Unfinished Revolution with Dr. Nicole LaVoi.
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Dr. LaVoi dives into the systemic barriers women face in sports coaching and shares actionable strategies for navigating male-dominated environments.

Til next time,
Dr. A

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